MS can be emotionally destructive

I lost it the other night.  Just cried my tears out.  I was so frustrated and all after an incredibly wonderful weekend of family celebration.  But sometimes people just don't understand the disease.  Especially those that are closest to you which is why it hurts so much.

"why don't you just work.  just move.  just get your life back.  just do this..."   they really don't understand how debilitating multiple sclerosis can be.  Oh, "just go for a walk".  I mean WTF?   I would have to use a walking stick today.  And still wouldn't make it down the street. 

My fault of course.  Three days of parties, celebrations, wedding and dancing.  And the flights, the traveling, the energy-zapping family dynamics.  I am worn out.  And sick.  I need to go see a throat doctor. I thought it was getting better but it's not.

Frustration. That's the feeling that suffocates me. 

But alas, my venting is helping.  That or the meds I took this morning.  Am drinking throat coat tea and just massaged a mass of cooling gel on my legs.  I'm working on downloading photos but running out of hard drive space. 

But it's nice to be able to work on the computer a bit.  My hands cramp so much that I can't be on the keyboard for too long at a time. 

On a different and much more positive note, I just finished Rhino Ranch by Larry McMurtry.  A fun read.  Just what I was in the mood for.  I feel a bit for Duane.  My life and his. 

I know I will feel much better tomorrow.  Today is tea, ShenTrition and rest day with my hound dog, Ellie. 


Mario said...

Stay positive you are an inspiration to other people a good read and yes people close to you need to understand the generics of ms it's a day to day job to know what you can and can't do. Good luck and stay postive keep posting

Caroline Craven said...

Thank you Mario. I really appreciate your comments! #takeThATms!

Cathy said...

I am here for you, fighting similar private and public battles. Not always easy and that's why we need to rely on our community for support. I know exactly how you feel Caroline. Hugs. Cathy Chester

Caroline Craven said...

Thank you, Cathy! Xo, C