Sunday

Stuck in pigeon

Several minutes at least, facing weeks of built up anxiety, I melt through pigeon pose.  Streams of energy shooting out limbs, new areas of energy released.  Breathing with anxiety through layers of emotional build-up.  There is no point in berating myself for not giving my Self a good Spiral of late.  And there's no point in lying.  A month at least.  Probably two.  Some small practices here and there but for a good, two-plus hour Spiraling mediation, it had been too long. 

I can't spiral when weak so after some build up calories,  I made some Peets decaf in the french press but immediately lost myself in my Spiral before the coffee reached my lips.  iPod on, safe place, no fear of interruption. This is peace.  Using a mix of learned methods of Yoga and other practices the Spiral is a free-flow practice that goes with the flow.  From the music inside or the rustling of the trees if practiced outside on a light fall day, Spiraling is a form of connecting body, mind, soul and earth.  To revitalize and rebuild.  To center.

Spiraling is for anyone.  For practice just find a safe, quiet place and set a certain time aside.  If you have a time limit, set a timer so that you can get lost in your meditative flow.  My practices come from a variety of modalities and resources I have picked up over the years.  Here are just a few:

Matthew Mixer, licensed acupuncturist, Ashtanga yoga, Chinese herbs
Shen Life, Stephen and Erica Rogers, Chinese herbs, yoga, massage, spiritual, ShenTrition
Shiva Rea, yoga

So today I started out with just some easy standing yoga and flowed down to the ground with a variety of moves.  Beginning with a deep spiral into the grown through my feet that centered feeling begin to fill my body.  Slowly, breathing deep, standing tall.  Hear the ribs and neck creak.  Spiraling my parallel positioned feet underneath me so that my hips drop and open while my my legs continue to stretch up and down into the ground.  Raising the chest and opening the airflow deep into my abdomen the meditation began. 

Or I should say the emotional release began. 

Moving with the flow of the music my body resembled a river, rhythmically rolling and stretching while the tears flowed.  First the anger.  What about?  it didn't matter.  Every issue on my "to do" list came magnified in mind while I ranted and raved about everyone's faults but my own.  I kept spiraling. 

Anger soon turned into sadness realizing my own weaknesses and inabilities to follow the expectations I have of my Self.   Flowing through a variety of movements I let the emotions continue to obsess body and soul. 

And soon I was laughing, at each and every item that is on my list.  I have solutions.  They are in my mind and will arise when the time is near.  There is no need for panic.  Some revelations came as well.  A new thought to reduce stress was to end the marketing boutique for now.  My energy resources are limited and conservation is critical.  Horses are obviously a priority as well as photography.  The rest can wait for another time.  Except for friends. I'm still continuing to advise friends. 

So for now I revised my website and will focus on the projects at hand, and most importantly my nOnisense blog about MS. 

Thoughts for the day:

  • find modalities that work for you:  yoga, meditation, nutrition
  • continually analyze your stress level and make adjustments
  • keep up with friends, family and community for support
  • find healthy escapes for your MS - exercise, studies, blogging, photography
and most importantly, keep smiling!

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