Anger boiled inside. Again. Time to change my story. Anger is not healthy and it's pushing me to the red zone. Time for some peace making.
It's been over ten years with MS. And I still get angry about the disease. I don't want to. I'm gratefull for all I have but I'm frustrated. And frustration leads to anger which leads to bad MS days.
Summer is just not easy for folks with MS. It's a time to find peace but it is such a struggle. And there are reasons for this. Often I forget about these reasons and then the books on my nightstand call attention....
Today the books inspired attention in a random order. At first came Scott Shaw's "About Peace" letting the pages fall freely open to number 45:
"Walk away from competition.
If you cannot walk away from a competitive situation, exist within your own sphere of private peace, while it plays out its limited existence around you."
Well, OK. I thought I had been pretty good with my competitiveness but lets think about it. I'm competitive with myself and that's depressing. I am not the same person as last year or the years prior. Nor will I be the same in the future. As they say, "don't waste today thinking about tomorrow". So, good insight here. I need to let go of competitiveness within. That is a goal to put me in a blue zone.
The next book, "the Ayurvedic year, a seasonal guide to nutrition, yoga and healing" by Christina Brown, is one handy crucial part of my library. For those not familiar with Ayurveda it is a Hindu based medicine long in tradition. Ayurveda means "science of life". The basic view is that all life is comprised of three energy-elements or doshas: air (Vata), fire (Pitta), and water (Kapha). Illness is defined as an imbalance of these elements. Well, I am out of balance for sure! And without knowing much I can say that its my fire that's out of control.
Pages of interesting ways of living follow from eating to mediation to career choices. Yes, I'm definitely Pitta. With some great advice I begin the balancing process. Time to eat some cooling foods, cut down coffee even though I do drink decaf, it just tastes toxic right now. Clear liquids. Soothing, gentle, healing. Reduce alcohol and salty foods. And reduce meats. Cooling salads best for now. Lentils, cucumbers, mung beans and the like...
The next book to find its way into my healing path is Grandmas pocket prayer book. Randomly opening the book it yields the following:
"I did not know the sky was blue,
I could not call the morning bright,
Until I heard a still small voice
And Lo, the world was filled with light!
I did not hear the morning choirs,
Nor heed the lark upon the wing,
Until I heard Him call, and then
The universe began to sing!
Deaf, dumb, and blind, I walked His earth,
I breathed His air, a thankless clod,
until that blessed summer's night
When my dead soul found life and God!"
-Ralph, Spaulding, Cushman
Refreshing! I could use this little lift and reminder.
Compassion to us and to others is part of the Ms healing process. And funny how when I opened the Dalai Lamas book, The Art of Happiness, the pages fell open to compassion.
After a public speaking engagement in Arizona, His Holiness The Dalai Lama gave the following meditation:
So ...let us meditate on compassion today. Begin by visualizing a person who is acutely suffering, someone who is in pain or is in a very unfortunate situation. For the first three minutes of the meditation, reflect on that individuals suffering in a more analytical way - think about their intense suffering and the unfortunate state of that persons existence. After thinking about that persons suffering for a few minutes, next, try to relate that to yourself, thinking, 'that individual has the same capacity for experiencing pain, joy, happiness, and suffering that I do.' Then, try to allow your natural response to arise -- a natural feeling of compassion towards that person. Try to arrive at a conclusion: thinking how strongly you wish for that person to be free from that suffering. And resolve that you will help that person to be relieved from their suffering. Finally, place your mind single-pointedly on that kind of conclusion or resolution, and for the last few minutes of the meditation try to simply generate your mind in a compassion or loving state."
Well said! And put to practice this day. We are a changing! From the fiery pit of pitta this morning to the soothing love of all around us. The body, mind and soul are relaxed and content. We have entered the blue zone....ready to chill and enjoy this incredible day before us!