It has sunk in. The devastation. The sadness and disappointment. I'm not going on the much planned road trip across country. At least not this year. It was a tough decision to accept but not a lot of choice. So, time to realign the life I just spent six months realigning. While its easy to find new focal points and projects its difficult to accept the disappointment. And I can't help but to blame much of this on my MS. The feeling that my body is failing me. And while I want to count on all my friends and family for 100% support, it is not fair to them or to me. I can't event count on myself that much.
Plans frequently go awry with MS. The heat. Fatigue. General malaise. And while often invisible, the pain is heartily felt. Flexibility is key to thriving with MS. While I spent months planning for this trip, I had to keep a plan B in my back pocket. It was not a trip that I had control over. I was a tag along. And that didn't work. So, time to realign.
Well, MSontheRoad had changed scope! I'll be going to hit all 50 states promoting MS awareness. And while I won't be in the swanky apartment on wheels as planned, I plan to see a lot of friends, meet many new folks and stay at some very cool places!
The first place on the agenda is the Hitselberger Ranch in Seal Rock, Oregon. I trained a few of their horses a few years ago and am looking forward to some time at their beautiful home amidst a spruce forest. Oregon is mostly MS friendly, especially on the coast where it doesn't get too warm. In fact in can be quite soggy. But that's OK! Time for good friends, horses, hiking, exploring on quads, fishing and more....
So, when plans go awry, take a deep breath meditation and acknowledge your emotions from shock to anger to acceptance. Do something nice for yourself. Remind yourself that while these plans were quashed new and better plans are around the corner. Keep a positive visualization in the forefront of your mind. Repeat it. Over and over.
Call your friends, family, support group and ask for help. Share your emotions. MS folks tend to be super strong and inhibited to show weakness. But by showing this weakness you're letting go of ego. And by letting go of your ego you will find that Self is limitless.
And remember to smile and say #TakeThatMS !